How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
