Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
