Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
