Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize