Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
