It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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