Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
