woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
