Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sober January is a disaster.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
