I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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