i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
