is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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