I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
