brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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