his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
