oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My penis needs a shock collar
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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