operation have a gay friend backfired
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
