Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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