So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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