Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
