It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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