i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
In America we eat man semen.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
