Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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