She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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