Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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