She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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