You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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