it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I puked a lego.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
