maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
