Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
