your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
