Kiss
Puke
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
