my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
