okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
