so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
did you just send me my own nude
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
