its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
