oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
