Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
