I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
