He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
