he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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