i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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