Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Found your dick twin last night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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