please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
