Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The power of my boobs compel you
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
