So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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