this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
