3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
