thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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