We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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