i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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