About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
