A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
