i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
