I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
