she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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