Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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