hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
