I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You smell like a Billy Joel song
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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