she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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