Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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