why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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