Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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