She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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