he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize