Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
