Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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