this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
