My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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