I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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