My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
