This girl is more easily done than said...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
