THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
