ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
