I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
