Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
sex in a hospital.. check
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
