I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
babies were throwing up all over the place
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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