I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize