her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
