its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize