absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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